DATING AND ENGAGEMENT AS SOCIALIZATION FOR MARRIAGE:

Dating is an aim inhibited courtship,i.e.courtship without aim in which both the dating pairs and their parents clearly understand that there is nothing serious in the relationship.
Dating is a playful interaction and not playing for keeps.Going steady is when a dating pair starts taking each other seriously as candidates for marriage.
Although it is possible to have many reshuffles of going steady but people go steady with each other on the grounds that they have identified each other as possible candidates for marriage.
These two processes are considered to be socialization processes for marriage because during dating and going steady there is a tendency to exhibit empathetic accuracy towards each other in the same way that married couples do.Because of this,some girls have been exploited sexually during dating because of empathetic accuracy.
Premarital sex has got different effects on the couples,in women it increases the desire to get married but in men,it reduces the desire to get married.
Engagement is the stage of courtship when couples are allowed to simulate marital roles,but its also a stage when parents still have a say over that relationship.For some couples,engagement symbolizes a point of no return meaning that they are for sure getting married but engagement is not marriage.
Engagement can easily be terminated without the complications that usually accompany marital break up.
During engagement,the couples usually engage in self disclosure.They also tend to take up the roles that they anticipate to play in case they get married.This is the time when people put trial in marriage.One key factor in engagement is that all other competing relationships must be relinquished.
A real indicator of engagement is that there are no competing relationships.During engagement also,the couple harmonize their relationship with family meaning that there are no friends who are personal.
Engagement serves a number of purposes;
1). To study each other's background and establish compatibility as well as point of departure.
2). Engagement provides an opportunity for planning for marriage.
3). It also provides a chance to simulate marital roles and establish points of agreement with each other.
4). Engagement provides an opportunity to align the relationship with in laws and friends.
5). It is also the period when the couples try to address the challenges of sex.
Most couples who are engaged have reported in engaging in sexual intercourse before marriage although this has got a number of effects;
In most cases where divorce has been experienced,there has been a positive correlation with frequency of premarital sex.The more frequent premarital sex between couples,the higher chances of divorce due to poor marital adjustment.
The period of engagement has also a relationship to the stability of marriage.
Couples who have cohabited before tend to have the reduced desire for marriage.
>Common sense and science are two different things,Beauty and money can never make marriage.
What leads to missed opportunities is our refusal to let go.Learn from the failures and allowing ourselves to heal and move on.If a relationship can't work,let it go!